(17, NJ, USA) Chelsea - Planned

I’m a very planned-out person. I live life with a planner always on me and my Google calendar is always full. I don’t like to go with the flow. I like to go on schedule. I like to check the boxes as my day continues and complete the steps in the evening. I’ve always had my whole life planned out too. I’ve known what job I’ve wanted since I was a kid and how I was going to pave my way there in fiery glory. In middle school I knew what college I wanted to go to and the grades and steps necessary to get there. But as life goes on, I’ve found out that most things don’t stick on schedule. Actually most of the time I’m missing check boxes throughout my day and forgetting to do the things essential to my scheduled life. I’ve had to change my passions. The job I’ve wanted since I was in kindergarten is, “unrealistic”. The college I want to go to is “too far of a reach”. I’ve had to go off my schedule. And honestly, I’m not sure how to feel about it. I feel out of place and in shambles. For the first time in my life, I don’t have everything planned out. Everything is uncertain.