(21, TX, USA) Anonymous - Everything Is Going to Be Okay

"Everything is going to be okay." It was something I would tell myself constantly during high school. I continuously struggled with my grades and keeping up with my favorite sport, volleyball. I never understood how people could accomplish the workload we were given while having extracurricular activities. I would have frequent panic attacks (I did not realize at the time that's what they were) and one of my teachers told me this mantra-like thing to say when I would have these panic episodes: “Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.” I struggled until sophomore year when I went to the nurse for chest pain and difficulty breathing. The nurse recommended I go to the ER. My mom picked me up and drove me to the ER, where they told me part of why I struggled so much was due to extreme anxiety. Anxiety? I was always told I was shy and to get over it, but I finally felt relief knowing why normal day-to-day activities felt so intense. My mom took me to a psychiatrist soon after, and after just the first appointment, she said, “I’m willing to bet you also have ADHD.” In my head, I thought, “Me? ADHD? You must be joking.” But one test later, it was true: I had ADHD, got prescribed medication to help me out, and my grades changed drastically. I had always been a C student since elementary, but with help, I was now an A/B student who could actually do the things I always wanted, like speak in front of my class and raise my hand. I never knew how much I was being held back by my ADHD and anxiety. I started to flourish; instead of having just one friend, I had a group of friends. I did not just enjoy my life; I loved it and even loved myself. Now I'm about to be a senior in college, studying in a major I love, and I even joined a sorority. I guess my teacher was right: everything did turn out okay.