(17, WA, USA) Anonymous - Vitiligo

When I turned nine I got diagnosed with vitiligo, a skin condition that is caused by the melanocytes attacking each other, but at the time all I understood was this condition was making me look white as a ghost. My mom somehow noticed a white dot on my knee and got worried, I thought I had just scaped it, what was the big deal? Within a couple of months, my vitiligo spread all throughout my face, legs, chest, and my back. I quickly started with my treatments; intralesional injections, topical steroid creams, home remedies, pills, and UVB phototherapy treatment. Not to mention the monthly checkups. After treatments, I would feel nauseous caused of the long ride home. I absolutely loathed this new identity and routine that was being shoved down my throat. This went on for about 7 years and I hated every second of it, my main treatment, UVB phototherapy, made me feel like I was in a standing coffin, being in there all alone with the door shut. I felt so alone and unique in the worst possible way. I was always afraid of meeting with new people, scared they would judge me. I wouldn't even wear shorts during summer. The constant treatments after school caused me to miss out on my extracurriculars, sports, and clubs. A part of me was jealous of everyone who could do the things I couldn't. I remember seeing models embrace their identity with vitiligo and wondering why that couldn't be me. I wanted to be so comfortable in my skin that I could show it off. As time went by, I slowly adjusted to my goal. I now feel the most comfortable in my skin I have ever been.