(14, NY, USA) Anonymous - The 1 Out of 10

I was 3 when I found out the statistic that 1 out of 10 children is a victim of sexual abuse. This was 2 years after I became 1 out of 10. You're told to speak up and to come forward, but what if you can’t speak and can barely understand why your mom is crying? When you understand barely anything and the adults in blue uniforms ask you, “What does he do to you?” and attending court date after court date, leaving with a stuffed animal in hand while you can’t comprehend what has happened and why you aren't with your babysitter and her son. When the photos of the past 2 years were deleted, I tried to remove any trace of remembrance from what was going on behind closed playpens. You are left to wonder why a 3-year-old has to be the one to tell what happened and not the man who did it. You grow up to realize that no matter how many therapists you see, it still wakes you up at night. When friends ask if you can even remember, it’s all you can think about. Question after question, you are reminded that you’re 1 in 10 and the other 9 don’t understand why you still cry. You try to have a perfect life, filling it up with A’s and medals, when you look back on the days that have passed and you still can’t relate to anyone your own age. That’s the truth of being 1 in 10: no matter how much you do, you’ll always be the one who was 3 and left with her babysitter's son.