(17,NJ,USA) Anonymous - Lost

I'm lost. I'm going to college in about six months, and I have no idea what I want to do. I've had all this time, and I feel like I just wasted it all because I can't find something for me. I stopped caring about school after COVID, and my grades and GPA tanked beyond saving. Now, I'm stuck with a community college and a business major I don't even think I want to do. My parents have been set on me going to college since I was a kid, so my options aren't broad. Another part that makes me super scared is the fact that I don’t have a set place to live at the moment, and I feel like I’m running out of time to where I won’t be able to leave from where I am right now. I see all other seniors committing to these big schools with scholarships, and it really hurts more than I would have thought. It just makes me sit back and think if I had put even minimal effort, that could have been me. I had good grades all my life, and I really hate to blame COVID, but after we came back, it was never the same, and it still isn’t. I now know I'm missing out. I now know I could have done better. Only if I could have cared just a little bit at the time, my situation would be fine now. I was told so many times that I needed to do more for college. I repeatedly did not care and gave no regard. I just don’t know why I couldn’t put in the effort all that time when I needed it the most.