(16, IL, USA) Gabriella - Thoughts Of A ‘Mom Friend’
I have always been considered the "mom friend," the one who carries extra tissues and mouthwash, who always tries to listen while gently offering advice because that is what is expected of me. The label manifests itself in ways I increasingly recognize as I grow. Even in the separate groups I connect with, I take the label and its responsibilities with me, whether I want them or not. It is not a terrible thing at all. A mom is selfless and kind, treating her dependents with a natural-born ferocity.
One weekend, when my friends and I decided to go to a pool, I found myself sinking into this role once again. The air was filled with the sound of laughter, music from a low-quality speaker, and splashes as we dove into the cool, reflective blue. As the afternoon wore on, everyone started to get hungry. It's the kind of hunger that comes out of nowhere and hits you like a wave because you're distracted by the fun around you. Without really thinking about it, I reached into my bag, pulling out an assortment of snacks I had packed just in case. Two of my friends gathered around me, glad and excited, with bright smiles that made the water droplets on their cheeks roll down to their necks and their eyelashes clump together. Their expressions radiated gratefulness.
Being labeled the "mom friend" comes with its own set of challenges. It can feel like a burden, as if I am expected to always be the responsible one. Is it even really fair to name someone the "mom friend," placing the weight of others' needs on their shoulders? When people look at me, is that all they see? This label can feel limiting, as if my only value is in what I provide for others. It does cross my mind; am I being taken for granted? Like the chocolate chips in cookies, it's bittersweet to not always have that security for myself. But as I watched them enjoy the cookies, I felt a wave of satisfaction wash over me, knowing I was taking care of them even if it meant I was left without anything for myself.
Like a deer cautiously approaching to share its food with others, there is beauty in taking care of my loved ones. Care can be subtle and gentle, like my blonde-haired friend adjusting my bikini top so it does not slip, and my freckled friend making sure my bun isn’t lopsided while I take a picture. As we all head back into the pool and I’m dunked in a game, it washes over me like the shallow water that cares for me. Support for me is present in other places. Consider the "mom friend" in your life and ensure their care for you is matched. Embracing the role of the "mom friend" is not a bad title at all; it is comforting to be relied upon. However, it's crucial that they receive care in return. Love and support, that sense of security, surround us fully if we look closely enough and nurture those relationships.
