(17, NJ, USA) Chelsea - The Audition
Ever since I could remember I had been dancing. Most of my core childhood memories were spent either at my ballet studio or at a theater putting on a show for my ballet studio. While most kids were going to birthday parties or soccer games, I was spending my full weekends alongside other girls training. My ultimate goal was always the same: to go professional. An almost impossible dream that every little girl who did ballet shared.
Growing up, I always actively worked hard to make my ambitions a reality. I spent all my hours at the ballet studio and never left a class without a red face and sweat dripping down my back. Soon my flat shoes turned into pointe shoes and I really started to feel like I had some talent. I had just achieved two lead children roles in my studio’s productions of The Nutcracker and Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and I decided it was time I try out for a summer program. Summer ballet programs were month long intensives where the full day would be spent only dancing (aka my dream come true). I had been doing so well back at my home studio that I thought I would get into any company’s intensive with no trouble.
One of the company’s I had looked at was holding an audition for their summer program. I walked into the building head held high with confidence beaming. I had the IT factor. I was going to blow the judges away. I was going to get the spot and I was going to be the best girl in the room. I had worn my special black leotard and did my hair in a french twist to set myself aside. But as I walked into the room, I saw 100 girls identical to myself. Same slicked back bun, same warm ups, same black leotard. My black leotard! And as all of them were stretching, I realized it wasn’t as simple as I thought.
In fact, during my audition I realized most of the girls were at my level or even better. When I could do a double pirouette, these girls could do triples. Where I would pride myself on my high arabesque, these girls had a higher one. Everything I could do, everything I thought was special and that I could bring to the table, was brought by another girl, sometimes with more extension, and one less fly away in her bun.
I didn’t get into that summer program. And while I may have been a star back at home, I was just another little girl with the same dream as every other little girl.
