(15, WA, USA) Bella - Love and Loss

My mother got off the phone with my grandma and said to me, "Grandma is doing weird things." Little did I know that was the beginning of a life lesson I had to learn through my mother. My grandmother had dementia. She couldn't start her car that she had been driving for 15 years. She was stepping on the gas instead of the brake and was frustrated her car wouldn't start. My mother had to fly to LA to move her in with us in Seattle. Once my grandma got the diagnosis of Frontal Temporal Dementia, it affected not only her but everyone in the family. This disease spares no one.

Over the years, I saw how my mom sacrificed her time to give my grandma the dignity and respect that she so deserved. I always thought of my mom as a turtle with a hard shell, but seeing how patient she was with my grandmother and the love she showed her, I had a new perspective of her. Growing up in Taiwan, my mother always knew taking care of her aging parents was never a question, but we had no dementia in the family history. It was a complete surprise.

Seeing the care my mom gave her gave me a different perspective on how fragile life can be. My mom said it was hard for her to take care of her own mother like a helpless child. In three and a half short years, my grandmother passed away. She lost interest in eating for over a year and was living only on supplemental protein drinks. I learned from this experience not to take my mother for granted.

Seeing the devastating journey of my healthy and vibrant grandmother dying at just 70 lbs. was very hard to imagine. I try not to take my family for granted and I always try to let my family know how much I appreciate all the little things they do for me. I want to be a daughter to my mom like she was for her mom. This was a journey for me of love and loss.