(15, AZ, USA) Anonymous - Just Look Around
Why am I here? This is an existential question I have frequently asked myself recently. The thought emerges in moments of silence when I am alone. I wrestle with this question in my mind, searching for an answer. I am not the first to ponder this topic; in fact, the question itself stems from the quintessential part of being human: consciousness. Consciousness allows us to see past our primal instincts, which would otherwise drive our every decision. It gives us the ability to be aware—aware of ourselves and the lives of people around us.
Having the ability to recognize that every life around me has a real, genuine person and life behind it leads me to understand that I need to show love to every person around me. My siblings, parents, friends, and even strangers I see passing on the sidewalk all deserve to be happy. The happiness that stems from the actions and efforts of others has led me to realize that seeing others happy, seeing them achieve their goals and aspirations, and finding joy in their hobbies makes me happy. Perhaps the question of my purpose in life coincides with the question of what makes me happy. Happiness makes life worth living, and if my joy comes from improving the lives of other people, then that is what I will do. Enabling my happiness can only be achieved through my efforts to create happiness in others.
Sometimes, as I go about living my life, I miss opportunities to create joy within others. Life is hard, and it becomes easy to miss the possibilities for happiness and allowing others to be happy. If I’m having a hard time, it can be easy to pass through my day on autopilot, shutting down my ability to look around, see the people around me, and realize what I have to do to enable my happiness. Enabling the goals and aspirations of others can be challenging because of this. When I am upset, the only way for me to become truly happy is to help others become happy. So, when I miss every possible chance to help someone feel better, I start to feel useless, which initiates a loop of depression that I can only escape by helping others be happy.
How could it be possible for me to get out of this feeling of despair and uselessness? Well, to quote my favorite movie of all time, "Everything Everywhere All at Once," "We're all useless alone. It’s a good thing you’re not alone." When I find myself sulking in despair, I know that I have incredible family and friends who would do anything to enable my happiness, in return, I help them enable theirs. This mutual exchange of love is something that can be credited to the feeling of empathy, a feeling that can again be attributed to human consciousness. The same consciousness that allows me to look around at the people surrounding me and search for those who need happiness. To go back to the question from the beginning: Why am I here? I think the simplest answer is, just look around.
