(15, GA, USA) Anonymous - Father Daughter Dance

When I was a little girl, my favorite person was my father. My mom, grandma, aunts and uncles raised me, but my father was my hero. I wanted to be just like him. He was so cool, with his money, and his job far away. of course, he wasn’t that far away. He was just a four-hour drive from Phoenix, Arizona to Las Vegas Nevada, where I was born. My parents got married in 2007, had me in 2009 and divorced in 2010. It’s a fact that I think about every day. When I think about why I am the way I am or why I think the way I think, I always come back to my parents. It’s not like I blame them for every problem in my life, just most of them. But it wasn’t just the divorce. Many people have divorced parents it a relatively normal thing that many people have to experience. And even thought I knew many people experience the pain of having divorced parents, I always thought mine was a little different. Not only are my parents divorced, but they also haven’t lived together since the divorce. It was easier when I was little, it was only a four-hour drive away. Not like my dad could ever make that drive, so me and my grandparents would drive over every other week and go see him. I actually can’t remember if it was every other week, but I know we were always the ones making the drive. It became more difficult as I got older, and my dad decided he was going to move to Florida. He hates Florida. He only likes going to Florida to visit family in Miami and go drink. He moved to Florida when I was around 7. I never remembered why he moved to Florida. I always had assumed it was for work, but they work from home. Would it have been that hard to just stay put, and not move to the other side of the country, away from your only child? Nevertheless, I still admired my father and had never taken it personally. Even though I only saw him 4 times a year, that was enough for me. Well, it was enough for him at least. I always hear stories about how much he missed me when I left or when I wasn’t with him. But it’s all too hard to believe. He could’ve seen me more, but he didn’t. But I kept loving him and wanting to be just like him. And I’m grateful I was like that. I got a lot from him, like my taste in music, my taste in clothes and jewelry. But also, he took away a lot from me, like my ability to trust anybody, no matter how much I want to. He ended up moving from Florida to Atlanta Georgia. I was unaffected by the move. It was the same flight so what do I care that he moved? Until 2019. Summer of 2019 was one of the best summers of my life, my entire family was together, and there was no drama in the beginning. Until one day my dad wanted to talk to me about something important. He wanted me to come live with him. I always knew that he wanted me to live with him for high school because he thought there were no good high schools in Arizona, but I was only in 5th grade, and I couldn’t even imagine why he would want me to move in right now. He said he wanted me to move in 6th grade so I could have friends when I went into high school. I couldn’t say no. And every day I wish I did. Every day I wish I never said bye to my childhood home, in which my dad took away from me. I don’t remember exactly when I decided that I was going to move but I remember the night My dad left tracy. He left her and then went back. Why? Because her, Ashton and Cooper called him crying. When he was talking to my tia, he said “I feel bad thought because she has kids.” When I heard this, the only thing I could think was “are you serious?” He already had a kid. He already had me. But I guess I wasn’t enough to keep him around. But its okay. Ashton stole all my moments anyways. That’s why I need my father daughter dance and my quinceañera, its all I have. She already got to be walked down the isle, she already got her father daughter dance with him. How is that fair? Its not. This situation with my father, and all the lies I had found out, really took a tole on me and our relationship, and how I viewed all my other relationships. Would I ever be enough for someone to stay around? That’s something I thought every day. Until I met my people. My friends at my new school. I knew I was no longer alone.