(18, WA, USA) Anonymous - Accord

The concept of accommodation is deeply ingrained in my mind. In collectivistic cultures, such as many Asian ones, accommodation is frequently practiced. I often find myself accommodating others due to the way my culture has taught me to handle conflict from a young age.

In mixed families, minor disagreements stemming from misunderstandings due to translation errors are inevitable. I have always considered myself someone who prefers to avoid conflict and never speaks up for themselves, as I dislike seeing the unhappy face of the other person. However, I recently realized that my approach to problem-solving is influenced by my upbringing. In Japanese schools, individuals with more power are often regarded as being in the right, and it is not acceptable to challenge them, even if they are wrong. Clarifying a misunderstanding is viewed as not worth the trouble of potentially upsetting the other person further, so allowing them to express their feelings freely is seen as the easier and quicker solution. This mindset has persisted within me even after living in America for over a decade.

Additionally, as the eldest child in my family, there is an expectation for me to maintain family harmony and unity. I am the sole translator between languages and feel guilty when anyone in the family experiences difficulty. I take pride in being selfless, which positions me as the ideal child and older sister. However, over the years, the toll of carrying this burden alone has started to manifest, yet I cannot imagine myself without it, without accommodating others. I am willing to continue sacrificing myself for the sake of others, as that is an integral part of who I am.